By Ned Neuron, Chief Sniff Tester of Ned’s Lab
Quote of the Day:
“If your fridge smells like gym socks… congratulations, you’re aging your cheese correctly.”
👃 Chapter 1: The Curious Case of the Foot Cheese Fragrance
It was a normal Tuesday at Ned’s Lab. I opened my fridge, searching for leftover lasagna—or hope. Instead, I found a half-wrapped wedge of cheese that smelled like someone’s gym locker took a nap in a sewer.
And I thought:
“Why does cheese smell like feet?”
Because this wasn’t just a funky cheese.
It was a foot-scented crime scene.
So I did what any mildly unhinged science nerd would do.
I sniffed my socks.
Then I sniffed the cheese.
Then I questioned my life choices.
And then—I started investigating.
🔬 Chapter 2: Bacteria—the Funk Behind the Funk
Have you ever heard of Brevibacterium linens?
No? Well, you’ve definitely smelled it.
This little microbe is the life of the stink party:
- It lives on human skin, especially feet.
- It also lives on washed-rind cheeses like Limburger, Époisses, and Taleggio.
Why? Because it loves moist, salty environments.
A.K.A.:
Cheese trapped in plastic wrap.
Feet trapped in socks.
Basically, your foot and your fancy French cheese are Airbnb-ing the same bacteria.
That pungent smell? It’s not the cheese going bad.
It’s the bacteria breaking down proteins and releasing sulfur compounds.
Same process on your toes. Same result.
Different dinner guests.
🧪 Mini Experiment: Sock or Cheese?
Want to gross out your friends and feel like a mad scientist?
Materials:
- A wedge of washed-rind cheese (like Limburger)
- One clean sock
- One worn sock (after a long walk or shameful day)
Steps:
- Blindfold your test subject.
- Place each sock and the cheese under their nose—one at a time.
- Ask: “Cheese or Foot?”
- Observe the chaos.
Conclusion:
Science is fun. Also disgusting.
🧠 Chapter 3: Why Would Anyone Make Cheese That Smells Like This?
Glad you asked, hypothetical friend.
Humans have been deliberately cultivating stink for thousands of years.
Why?
Because smell ≠ taste.
Some of the stinkiest cheeses are also creamy, rich, savory, and deeply flavorful. Your nose might scream, but your tastebuds throw a dance party.
Fun fact:
- The stinkier the cheese, the more protein breakdown is happening.
- That means more umami—a savory flavor humans crave.
So when you eat stinky cheese, you’re basically eating science that tastes like victory. (And maybe a foot.)
🧤 Chapter 4: Could Cheese Go Too Far?
Yes.
There’s an Italian cheese called Casu Marzu, which contains live maggots.
No joke.
The maggots help ferment the cheese and make it… um… smoother?
Also illegal in most countries.
Because science has limits. And so should your snacks.
But back to feet.
🦶 Chapter 5: Are My Feet Aging Cheese?
Here’s the wild part:
Scientists have actually used bacteria from human feet to make cheese.
In 2013, a project called “Selfmade” created cheese from:
- Toe bacteria
- Bellybutton bacteria
- Armpit bacteria
Each sample smelled different.
Each one matched its human.
So yes—your body could technically become a walking dairy farm.
(But please don’t.)
💡 Ned’s Final Thoughts:
Feet and cheese smell alike because nature is lazy.
Instead of inventing a new bacterium for every job, it just said:
“Eh, let’s reuse this Brevibacterium guy. He’s good with feet and brie.”
So next time you open your fridge and get a face full of stink…
Remember:
You’re not being haunted.
You’re just experiencing bacterial déjà vu.
And honestly?
That cheese isn’t stinky.
It’s evolving.
🧠 From the Lab Fridge:
- “Bacteria: They work overtime, don’t charge rent, and never shower.”
- “If it smells like feet but pairs with wine, it’s probably cheese. Probably.”
Want more weird, sniff-worthy science?
Stick with Ned’s Lab, where the truth always stinks a little.
