Greetings, curious humans and overachieving squirrels. I’m Ned Neuron—self-declared professor, part-time time traveler, and full-time brainiac with a caffeine dependency strong enough to power a blender.
My mission?
To explain science in a way that’s 98% true, 2% emotionally unstable.
How I Got Here (Probably)
Legend says I was born during a thunderstorm when a bolt of lightning struck a microwave, a Rubik’s Cube, and a frog dissection kit at the same time.
I emerged wearing a lab coat and screaming “EUREKA!”
Ever since, I’ve been on a quest to understand why the universe works the way it does—and why science class always smells weird.
What I Do
Every week, I put on my lab coat (backwards, for good luck) and dive headfirst into scientific rabbit holes no one asked for, like:
- Scientific screw-ups (Why bananas are radioactive!)
- Weird biology (Can plants get hangovers?)
- Mysteries that probably don’t need solving (Could a sneeze launch you in zero gravity?)
These investigations are what I call Brain Farts—
tiny, questionable bursts of scientific wisdom that make you laugh, learn, or at least say, “Wait… what?”
Oh, and by the way…
I may or may not have built a time machine.
I used it to go back a few minutes ago and double-check this paragraph.
It worked. I think.
I’ve witnessed the origin of glitter, asked a pigeon why it walks like that, and almost created a black hole in my bathroom sink.
Now I’m back to share my findings with you.
Spoiler: Science is messier (and funnier) than you think.
My Lab Rules
- Rule #1: If you can’t explain it with tacos or explosions, you’re doing it wrong.
- Rule #2: Always wear goggles when reading my newsletter. Just in case.
- Rule #3: Laughter is allowed. Learning is optional. Accidental genius moments encouraged.
Credentials
- Failed science fair champion, 7 years running
- Inventor of the unit “Oops-per-hour”
- Once discovered mold that looked exactly like Nikola Tesla (photo coming soon)
- Featured on Totally Not Accredited Science Weekly (also my blog)
Why Trust Me?
Because I do the Googling so you don’t have to.
Also because I once sneezed and accidentally discovered a new element.
(Not legally recognized. Yet.)
If you’ve ever looked at your microwave and thought,
“Could I launch a potato into orbit with this?”
you’re my kind of person.
Join me inside the lab.
It’s weird, it’s wild, and it’s mildly educational.
And remember:
The real experiment… is you.
