Your Nervous System Is a Traitor and Ned’s Not Okay About It
“I once got tickled by a robotic back-scratcher I built.
I screamed, spilled orange juice on a gerbil, and now we don’t talk.”
— Ned Neuron, possibly banned from Sharper Image
😬 The Betrayal Begins
You’re minding your own business.
A friend sneaks up, wiggles their fingers like a spellcaster—and suddenly:
- You scream-laugh like a dying hyena
- You flail like a toddler trying to escape a sweater
- You cry “STOP!” while also wheezing like you paid for this experience
Why does this happen?
Why do we laugh when tickled—even when we don’t want to?
Time to enter the tickle dimension. Bring backup.
🧠 What Even Is a Tickle?
It’s not just “ha ha, that feels weird.”
It’s a nervous system ambush.
Here’s what goes down:
- Your skin goes “OH NO, SOMETHING’S TOUCHING US.”
- Nerves scream up to your brain: “POSSIBLE DANGER, BUT MAKE IT GIGGLY.”
- Your brainstem throws confetti and hits the “laugh and flop” button.
- And boom—you’re a helpless giggle slug.
The brain can’t decide:
“Is this affection? Is it an attack? Is it foreplay? IS IT A BUG?!”
Answer: Yes. And also no. It’s tickling. Welcome to the worst party.
🤓 Science Says There Are TWO Kinds of Tickles
Yep. Tickling has sub-genres.
🎐 1. Knismesis (nihz-MEE-sis)
- That light, creepy-crawly feeling
- Like a spider auditioning for your nightmares
- Doesn’t make you laugh—makes you slap yourself
Purpose: alert system for tiny intruders
AKA: The bug-on-my-neck simulator
🎯 2. Gargalesis (gar-ga-LEE-sis)
- The “classic” tickle
- Armpits, ribs, feet—aka The Triangle of Screaming
- Makes you laugh, flail, and question your relationships
Purpose: No one knows
Vibes: Emotional rollercoaster in a bouncy castle
💡 Why Do We Laugh?
Because your brain is confused and doesn’t want to die.
No seriously.
Laughing during tickling is a defense mechanism, like:
“I’ll laugh and maybe they won’t eat me.”
Or:
“I’m clearly fine! Look, I’m having fun! (Please go away.)”
So technically, tickling laughter is fake joy.
It’s a nervous glitch covered in giggles and panic sweat.
🤖 Why You Can’t Tickle Yourself (And Stop Trying)
You can try. We all do.
You poke your own foot and… nothing. Just disappointment.
That’s because your cerebellum knows your own moves.
It’s like:
“Nice try, champ. That was you. Zero threat. Denied.”
Tickling only works when it’s unexpected, socially weird, or performed by someone who enjoys your distress (hello, siblings).
👶 Babies and Tickling: Day One Nonsense
Babies are born ticklish, which seems rude.
They can’t walk. Can’t talk. But they can lose their minds if you touch their belly button.
Why? Because tickling helps:
- Build social bonds
- Teach cause and effect
- Trigger weird laughter before they even know jokes exist
It’s like a preview of life:
“Surprise discomfort is coming! Learn to giggle through the chaos!”
🐵 Animals Get Tickled Too? YES.
Primates, especially chimpanzees, laugh when tickled.
Their laughter is more like rapid panting while flailing, which is also how Ned sounds on leg day.
Even rats laugh when tickled.
But their laughs are at 50kHz—aka ultrasonic squeaks—so we had to invent special tickle microphones.
Because science.
Some rats even:
CHASE THE HAND THAT TICKLED THEM.
Tiny squeaky daredevils. 10/10 would form a punk band.
😡 Why Tickling Is Actually the Worst
Despite all the laughter—it can be horrible.
Tickling:
- Removes control
- Triggers fight or flight
- Can make people feel vulnerable or even violated
Fun fact: medieval torture devices used tickling.
Tickle chairs. Tickle stocks. Tickle socks. (Okay, I made that last one up… maybe.)
So yeah. Tickling is not always cute.
Sometimes it’s emotional chaos with fingernails.
🔬 Ned’s Tickle Test: Complete Failure
I tried building a tickle robot.
It short-circuited, zapped my leg, and whispered “heehee” in Morse code before bursting into flames.
Conclusion:
Tickling can’t be automated—but it can ruin a Tuesday.
🎤 Final Thought: You Laugh, You Flail, You Survive
Why do we laugh when tickled?
Because:
- Your brain panics
- Your nerves freak out
- Your instincts go “deflect with joy!”
- And laughter… is how we fake being okay with being poked
It’s a social reflex, a survival instinct, and a weird bonding ritual wrapped in squeals.
So next time you get tickled?
Laugh.
Cry.
Kick.
And maybe… bite. (Ned recommends restraint.)
Thanks for Reading!
Like weird facts that tickle your brain without touching your armpits?
Join Ned’s Lab for free.
It’s science. But dumber.
